thoughts on happYness

Here are a few things I can't help but share, from the movie The Pursuit of Happyness. I actually got bored the first time I saw it :( But I gave it another shot and got pretty good insights from the father and son tandem Will and Jaden Smith.

Christopher (Jaden) cracks a joke to his father Chris (Will) while walking...
"One day a man was drowning in the water. A boat came by and said, 'Do you need any help?' He said, 'No thank you. God will save me.' Then another boat came by and said, 'Do you need any help?' He said, 'No thank you. God will save me.' Then he drowned and went to heaven. And he said, 'God, why didn't You save me?' And God said, 'I sent you two big boats you dummy.'"

Haha! Imagine God saying that last line. Hmmm... I can't. But maybe I can. For if I were in His shoes, and billions of my creation ask me the same question, I might have reacted that same way. Or even worse. The young kid hit it big time.

Doesn't the anecdote seem familiar? How many times have we asked God that question? How many times did we think He has abandoned us? How many times have we doubted His unstoppable power and unending grace?

Why didn't You save me from this heartbreak? I thought You didn't want me to get hurt.
Why didn't You save me from this loneliness? I thought You were always beside me.
Why didn't You save my parents' marriage? I thought You wanted my family to be complete.
Why didn't You save me from "friends" that talk behind my back? I thought You want me to be celebrated.
Why didn't You save me from this corrupted country? I thought this was Your promised land flowing with milk and honey.
Why didn't You save me from failures? I thought You created me to be more than a conqueror.

But you see, everything I (we) thought about who He is and what He can do are barely scratches. He's all that and more. The only difference is, He already did all the saving I've been raving about. He saved me before I even asked for it. He will save me even before I get ourselves in situations of need. He saves me even if I think I don't need it. Amazing.

I put all the blame on Him when I feel like I'm in dark pits of humiliation and hurt. I even used the idea that everything is in His hands, as an excuse that I had nothing to do about where I got myself into. It was His fault. I trusted Him and look where that faith has led me. Blind faith, that is. And I end up incomplete, unsatisfied. Unhappy.

Sure, there really are times when God, His very voice speaks so clearly to me, and directs my next move. But now I wonder what the people around me are here for? The places I go to, the family I belong to, the school I went to, the workplace you spend 8 hours with, the books we read, the songs we sing, the movies we watch... You see, everything we see, hear, and feel were created for something. God would use them to answer our needs and even our wants. It's just that most of the time, I have ignored them and made myself believe that I'm doing well on my own...that I can make it through, survive each day without allowing the Chief Doctor to operate and transplant a new heart and spirit within me, instead of ignoring the aches I have been keeping for so long.

It's a different kind of high to be the damsel in distress once in a while...waiting for the Knight of all knights to overcome the dragons in my life and rescue me from the highest tower.

I'm letting go and letting You God do your thing.
You'll definitely see me through.