joyful? joyful!

nung Saturday pumunta akong school. may get-together kasi kaming mga senior scholars at yung mga benefactors namin. nakaka-excite. sabi nga ni ma'am jolly, "we will finally match the names with their faces." sa nakalipas na apat na taon kasi, nagbibigay lang kami ng Christmas card sa kanila. sa wakas, magkakaharap na ang pinagpala at ang nagpapala.

kaya lang syempre, bago pa mag-umpisa yung program proper, nagkaroon muna ng mass. and, matagal-tagal na rin nug huli akong umatend ng catholic mass. anyway, ang galing pa kasi yung homily ni Fr. Roche, yun din yung message na binigay ko sa mga bata nugn Wednesday, at yun din yung na-share ni Ate Lu sa Lcell namin nung Thursday. si Lord talaga, pinupukpok ako. hehe...

sabi nga ng kanta, "forgetting what lies behind, setting our hearts on the prize, always keeping our eyes on our Lord Jesus...we're running the race to win, all the way to the end, laying down every sin that would seem to hinder us."

tapos nung responsorial psalm na, hindi ko maintindihan. ibig ko sabihin, gets ko naman yung psalm na binasa, pati yung response ng congregation, saying na we are filled with joy because God is with us, or something to that effect. basta declaration yun of joy. ang mahirap kasi sagutin, eh kung bakit parang di ko makita yung joy sa mga tao sa paligid ko. sa loob-loob ko, ang sarap tumalon, sumayaw, tumawa, at ipagsigawan yung saya na nararamdaman ko. na sa kabila ng lahat, buhay pa rin ako at pinaparamdam pa rin ni Lord na mahal Niya ako. grabe. andami pang kailangang baguhin sa ugali ko. pero hindi Niya talaga ako pinabayaan. at sa sobrang pagmamahal Niya sa'kin, pagtitiyagaan Niya akong baguhin at hubugin para maging katulad Niya. wow.

kung alam lang nila...:)

thoughts on happYness

Here are a few things I can't help but share, from the movie The Pursuit of Happyness. I actually got bored the first time I saw it :( But I gave it another shot and got pretty good insights from the father and son tandem Will and Jaden Smith.

Christopher (Jaden) cracks a joke to his father Chris (Will) while walking...
"One day a man was drowning in the water. A boat came by and said, 'Do you need any help?' He said, 'No thank you. God will save me.' Then another boat came by and said, 'Do you need any help?' He said, 'No thank you. God will save me.' Then he drowned and went to heaven. And he said, 'God, why didn't You save me?' And God said, 'I sent you two big boats you dummy.'"

Haha! Imagine God saying that last line. Hmmm... I can't. But maybe I can. For if I were in His shoes, and billions of my creation ask me the same question, I might have reacted that same way. Or even worse. The young kid hit it big time.

Doesn't the anecdote seem familiar? How many times have we asked God that question? How many times did we think He has abandoned us? How many times have we doubted His unstoppable power and unending grace?

Why didn't You save me from this heartbreak? I thought You didn't want me to get hurt.
Why didn't You save me from this loneliness? I thought You were always beside me.
Why didn't You save my parents' marriage? I thought You wanted my family to be complete.
Why didn't You save me from "friends" that talk behind my back? I thought You want me to be celebrated.
Why didn't You save me from this corrupted country? I thought this was Your promised land flowing with milk and honey.
Why didn't You save me from failures? I thought You created me to be more than a conqueror.

But you see, everything I (we) thought about who He is and what He can do are barely scratches. He's all that and more. The only difference is, He already did all the saving I've been raving about. He saved me before I even asked for it. He will save me even before I get ourselves in situations of need. He saves me even if I think I don't need it. Amazing.

I put all the blame on Him when I feel like I'm in dark pits of humiliation and hurt. I even used the idea that everything is in His hands, as an excuse that I had nothing to do about where I got myself into. It was His fault. I trusted Him and look where that faith has led me. Blind faith, that is. And I end up incomplete, unsatisfied. Unhappy.

Sure, there really are times when God, His very voice speaks so clearly to me, and directs my next move. But now I wonder what the people around me are here for? The places I go to, the family I belong to, the school I went to, the workplace you spend 8 hours with, the books we read, the songs we sing, the movies we watch... You see, everything we see, hear, and feel were created for something. God would use them to answer our needs and even our wants. It's just that most of the time, I have ignored them and made myself believe that I'm doing well on my own...that I can make it through, survive each day without allowing the Chief Doctor to operate and transplant a new heart and spirit within me, instead of ignoring the aches I have been keeping for so long.

It's a different kind of high to be the damsel in distress once in a while...waiting for the Knight of all knights to overcome the dragons in my life and rescue me from the highest tower.

I'm letting go and letting You God do your thing.
You'll definitely see me through.

i want to give it all

I was preparing to come to school for an oral exam in Philosophy when I came across a local TV show. (jologs? hehe whatever, that's not my point anyway :p) There was this young girl and a youth choir singing this song for a couple, who were helping out a foundation for kids.

I went to school, finished my oral exam, went to the life meeting in UP, and finally went home finding myself humming the melody of this song. I can only remember the first two, and last two lines of the chorus, so I figured I had to search for the complete lyrics of the song and who was behind its melody and words.

Now I know why I just can't get enough of it. It reminds me of the greatest love I ever had and will ever have. It's Your love, Jesus.

I Want To Give It All
Air Supply

Here I am again
I've come to see You smile
I know You understand
I have to say again
It's only for a while

And still You're always here
Just waiting for my call
I wish I knew a way
To give more than I do
I want to give it all

*It doesn't happen every day
But it happened to me once before
Those early years I threw away
Now I only have to hear Your voice
To make me feel so sure
That Your love is why
I want to give it all

Don't the minutes fly
And hours just seem so few
With days apart so long
It's hard to spend my time
When I'm so far from You

And still You're always here
Just waiting for my call
I wish I knew a way
To give more than I do

I want to give it all

my loves

i love chocolates.
i love cakes.
i love ice cream.
i love pizza.
i love mangoes.
i love watermelon.
i love Coke.
i love water.
i love red, blue, and orange.
i love orange, the fruit.
i love nuts.
i love corn.
i love adobo.
i love bihon.
i love movies.
i love the character of Michael Scofield.
i love Prison Break.
i love Grey's Anatomy.
i love music.
i love Jason Mraz.
i love books.
i love to reminisce.
i love elementary days.
i love patintero, jackstone, chinese garter, taguan, and being a Power Ranger.
i love the Family Computer.
i love eating tubo at our backyard.
i love the swing at our playground.
i love real camping like Girl Scouts.
i love the soccer field with the grandstand.
i love badminton.
i love soccer.
i love high school.
i love Claro M. Recto Hall, our own classroom.
i love the cheerdance competition.
i love the Science Camps.
i love the Blue Quill.
i love the names of our sections.
i love our Sportsfests.
i love the LAKAS Party.
i love the HSSC and the intensity of the elections.
i love our student teachers.
i love the CAT training, the officers, and the unity.
i love McDo at SM City, Iloilo.
i love ate LM, kapid Kwing, and baby Cathy.
i love Pototan overnights.
i love Shamrock Beach.
i love the kilig moments.
i love the proms.
i love our batch.
i love our battlecry: "todo na to guys, go, go, go!"
i love West.
i love Ateneo.
i love Gabay.
i love Magdalo - Tin, Mutie, Jabie, Cris, Tish, Gouki, Jay-R, Roy, Omar.
i love the SF Cherubs, KJs, and stargazing.
i love caroling practices, nights, and dawns.
i love Management Economics.
i love Philosophy and Theology.
i love Dr. Habito, Dr. Totanes, Fr. Dacanay, Mr. Lagliva, and Mr. Calasanz.
i love metamorphosis.
i love Destiny Ministries International.
i love Students of Destiny.
i love our pastors, Kuya Carlo and Ate Zha.
i love their kids, Sam and Julia.
i love the worship team.
i love Familia Jedidiah.
i love Mamita Luanne.
i love Glai, Ray, and Dre.
i love the SFHS kids.
i love the G12 vision.
i love Sunday Services.
i love Tuesday Life Meetings and Friday Nyt Life.
i love prayer meetings.
i love cell meetings.
i love our L(ove) Cell.
i love Thursday UP Fairs.
i love the Ladder of Success.
i love to win souls and make disciples.
i love to be under discipline.
i love to learn from other people, and from my mistakes.
i love to listen to other people's stories.
i love my Friends...so much.
i love to serenade, and be serenaded by, my Father.
i love to read His Love Letters to me everyday.
i love to write back love letters to Him, as well.
i love to be blessed and be a blessing.
i love to molded by Him.
i love to be with Him and be like Him.

i love this post.
i love life.
i love love.
and since God is love...

...I LOVE YOU JESUS, MY GOD AND MY LOVE... :D

a love letter

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly; but God to His daughter says:

"No, not until you are satisfied and content with being loved by Me alone, with giving yourself to Me to have an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone... I LOVE YOU, My child... and until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human love relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with Me, exclusive of anyone and anything else, exclusive of any desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing --- one that you cannot imagine!

I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to bring it all to You. You just keep on trusting Me. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you... You must wait. Don't be anxious. Don't worry and never look around and envy at the things others have gotten or that I have given them. You just keep on looking up to Me, or you will miss what I want to show you. And when you are ready, I will surprise you with a love far more wonderful than anyone would ever dream.

You see, until you are ready --- and until the one I have prepared for you is ready, I am working this very minute to have you ready at the same time. And until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life that I have prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me --- and that is perfect love...

I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me and enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection and love that I offer to you with Myself. Know that I love you...utterly much more than you love yourself. I am God Almighty... Believe and be satisfied..."